Fibromyalgia-The Ultimate Frenemy

Did you notice I’ve been away from the blog for awhile?  My last post was on August 2^nd.  That is almost two weeks ago!  A combination of over-exertion and self-imposed stress led to a flare.  

The flare actually lasted about 3 weeks and still going, but through the beginning of the flare I managed to write and post and now near the end (I hope!) of this flare I’m feeling up to writing and posting again.

I started easing my way back into sitting at the computer for short periods of time a few days ago, which is why the Inspired Living with Fibromyalgia Facebook page has more recent posts, but I was afraid to write anything myself due to the fogginess and exhaustion being so heavy.  So here’s my first blog post in a few weeks.  I cannot express how glad I am to be back.

Prior to the flare, I had participated in the Ultimate Blog Challenge and as it was winding down I decided to do the Blogging Olympics as a way to continue learning more about blogging and finding new friends.  I missed the first few days of the Blogging Olympics due to missing the e-mails, so worked really hard and managed to catch up at that point.  

I probably put a little unnecessary stress on myself to do this. I have a tendency to commit wholeheartedly to everything I do and I wanted to catch up and then of course the plan was stay on track from there. 

Then I decided to have a fun day at the lake with my family. It is summer time after all!  But I ended up so exhausted just from the travelling there (less than 40 minute drive) that I mostly sat in a lawn chair. I did manage to snap some photos and I read part of a book.  I also waded in the water and fell in.  

The VERY cold water did me in. So at that point, I was already a little over-stressed and feeling guilty about not doing my post for the Blogging Olympics when I had just caught up and then I threw in a little physical stress in the form of cold lake water and travelling. But of course, I’m me and a little stubborn, so I took it easy for a day and tried to jump back on the fibromyalgia rollercoaster of my life a little too quickly.

Should've Just Said NO to Heels....

The day after I took it easy, we had a wedding in the family that I needed to attend. I was in so much pain and so exhausted even before I went. On top of that, it was a wedding so I curled my hair and put on makeup and wore heels (VERY BAD CHOICE!). Silly to be vain at this point in life I know, but I didn’t want everyone to see the pain etched in my face and I wanted to look nice.

The wedding itself presented some hurdles (which I will be sharing this week) and then WHAM! The day after the wedding, I was unable to move much at all. Then the weather started to shift and we had a massive thunderstorm and the barometric pressure just kept shifting. 

As a result, my yoga, my computer time, my family time, cleaning the house, everything went down the drain.  I considered myself lucky to be able to converse with friends who came over to visit, but to be honest I don’t remember much, just patches and moments.  I find it so frustrating when the fog and pain reach that point.  And what’s worse, I really have no one to blame but myself and my special Frenemy Fibromyalgia. 

So, thank you very much Fibromyalgia! I ended up derailing completely from the tracks of the Blogging Olympics (oh and life in general for a few weeks) and I’m currently looking at the debris surrounding me trying to figure out what the next move should be.  Well, obviously, I need to clean up everything, but should I continue with the Blogging Olympics?

I know it is technically over, but I learned so much and I found the topic of the day to be interesting and sometimes challenging, so I think I’m going to try to finish out the Blogging Olympics.  I promised myself I could and would do it! I WILL DO IT!  I will be late, I will be finishing dead last, but I will be finishing!  

Much like the real Olympics the crowds are gone, the stands are empty, no-one else is there anymore, just the memories…and ME. Me.  Picture this, I am figuratively crawling around the track with the intent to finish and no one else is there, but maybe just maybe someone will stop by to reminisce and will encourage me just a bit.

I am finishing the Blogging Olympics even though they are over because I promised myself and much like dealing with Fibromyalgia in general, I need to keep my promises to myself and others to the best of my ability. So the next posts will reflect the topics of the Blogging Olympics and be labeled accordingly.

After all, I refuse to allow Fibromyalgia The Ultimate Frenemy to win!

And for the record, I really do consider Fibromyalgia to be like a Frenemy.  When I was first diagnosed, I was so excited to have a label to attach to the unrelenting pain. I honestly thought “fantastic, now recovery can begin”, but instead the diagnosis is more of an opening for more questions and trying so many things to survive with no real answers and no real cure.  Like a Frenemy, the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia was an illusion of relief or an oasis in the pain, when really it was just an enemy disguised as a friend throwing up roadblocks and difficulties.

Eventually, I hope that we will, together, find a cure for Fibromyalgia. In the meantime, I continue to try things and refuse to give up and do my best to encourage others to do the same. I simply consider myself lucky that I can frequently live a fairly normal life and continue to do the things that seem to help me live the most inspired life possible under the circumstances.

So please bear with me as I stumble my way to the finish line of the Blogging Olympics!